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Lying is normal part of development

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Buffalo: Lying is normal part of development
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When it come to kids and lying, some experts say it's a normal part of development. Our Marcie Fraser filed the following report.

When it come to kids and lying, some experts say it's an expected part of development.

Psychotherapist Dr. Meghan Lemery said, "Children generally begin to lie around the age of three to test their parents to see what the boundaries are."

What do kids most often lie about? Younger kids usually do it for attention, especially if there's a younger sibling the house. Elementary kids usually do it to stay out of trouble.

Dr. Lemery said, "If you parent in a way that is based in fear or guilt, you are going to have a child that is more likely to lie to you because they are afraid of getting in trouble."

As kids develop more friends they often look for ways to impress their peers.

Dr. Lemery said, "As children enter the age of school, of Kindergarten and first grade, you see the lies become more sophisticated as they are trying to maybe impress their teachers, impress their peer group, and appear socially more acceptable and more important."

On rare occasions, kids can begin to lie compulsively. It's a sign of a deeper issue. Lying helps avoid the reality of possible trauma the child may be experiencing.

Dr. Lemery said, "If your child continually is lying, there is usually a deeper root going on, some kind of trauma that is happening that your child isn't telling you or facing themselves. The way to deal with that trauma internally is to make up anther life, to lie, because if you face the truth of the trauma, you are facing the pain and that can be very difficult."

Parents need to have zero tolerance for lies.

Dr. Lemery said, "Have strict rules in place when your child does lie, whether it's having them do a paper on the importance of honesty and integrity or watching a program on a role model, anything to get them to continue to build their character."

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